


Into The Empty

by fallenandinlovewithhumanity



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Feels, Castiel & Sam Winchester Friendship, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Claire Novak's Parents, Declarations Of Love, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Sam and Cas' friendship, hurt and angst, some are just mentioned - Freeform, some have dialogue, well they are basically her parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-01 00:18:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5185061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallenandinlovewithhumanity/pseuds/fallenandinlovewithhumanity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Dean will make it out of this Sam."<br/>Sam shifts and he nods into Cas' shoulder and lets him go.<br/>"I know, it's just if something does happen. That's it you know, no more redo, no more deals or resurrections. Billie said as much. We get tossed into the empty. Whatever that means."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The air was still, the ground painted red with the blood of bodies scattered over the lush green earths surrounding the lake. A few flies buzzing over the fresh bodies, stopping over the pools of blood.

The ground crunched as a pair of boots stepped over it quickly. Behind the boots came a second pair, these ones heavier, louder. The dirt kicked up with every step as two bodies came into view, a woman about five foot seven wearing combat boots, a messy bun, and an oversized henley with a large gash and blood covering the abdomen. The second figure, Dean Winchester, wearing a plaid shirt tied over his waist, blood splattering the shreds of what was his undershirt, an angel blade in his hand. She runs as fast as she can, Dean chasing after her, she swerves around a truck. She trips and falls down. Dean reaches her and grips the back of her shirt. He turns her around and grabs her by the wrist.

“Ow. Asshole.”

Dean brings up the blade to her neck.

“You killed some of my friends in there.”

She laughed. Her eyes flash black.

“I thought Winchesters didn't have friends.”

Dean tightened his grip of her wrist. She winces as Dean cuts into her skin. She yanks her arm away and runs.  She stops in front of a car, the impala. She looks around at the discarded bodies near the hood of the car, trying to find a weapon, any weapon. She finds a blade, a few feet in front of her. She looks up to see Dean already within arms reach.

“Going somewhere?”

She lunges for the blade, he grabs her arm and pulls her back up.

“Let me go, you son of a bitch.”

She tries to yank her arm back again but it doesn't work. She glares at him. Dean twists the angel blade in his hand pointing it at her heart. She kicks his shins and gets her arms free. Dean lunges at her but she motions her hand and sends him flying. He coughs and tries to stand up, he is on his knees when he sees the blade is now at her feet. She stoops down to pick up the blade.

“Looking for something?”

Dean smirked at her as he stood up and looked around. No weapons insight. No wonder all these idiots died.

“I'm going to enjoy killing you.”

“Yeah I bet.”

Dean looks at the impala, maybe he could make it to the trunk.

“This war is your fault, you are responsible for all this death, I think it's time I return the favor.”

Dean moves slowly as she speaks, every move mimicked by her.

“So what you're some demon bitch on a righteous path?”

“I'm the demon bitch that's finally gonna kill a Winchester. I'm going to do what Crowley, Abaddon, Ruby, Meg, Azazel and countless others didn't have the balls to do.”

“You sure hold a grudge towards someone you don't know.”

“You want introductions? Fine. My name’s none of your damn business. All you need to know is that I have your weapon and this isn't gonna end well for you.”

They move in a circle as Dean tries to get to the car. She twirls the blade in her hand as she steps in front of him. He moves back seeing the blade in her hand is now pointing at him. She thrusts it into his right side. She lowers herself and speaks into his ear.

“See you in hell, wait.. That's right you can't even go there.”

She pulls out the blade and tosses it on the ground a few feet in front of him. She turns to walk away Dean grunts as he bends down to pick up the blade. He winces as the blood on his hand begins dripping onto the ground. He grabs onto his abdomen and walks towards her. She turns around and grabs him by the neck.

“Did you really think you could kill me that easily?”

She throws him into the ground. Dean grunts as he pushes himself up. She squats down in front of him and pulls him up by his shirt. He searches for the blade with his hand. He finds it and grips onto it as he brings his other hand to grab her wrist. He shoves the blade into her chest. She widens her eyes, as they flash. She goes stiff and falls on the ground beside him with a thud.

“Hasta la vista, bitch.”

Dean grabs at his side, he checks his hand as he pulls it away. It’s stained red. He stumbles over to the impala, clutching his side. He leans against the front of the car.


	2. Chapter 2

"SAMMY!"

Sam huffed out as the monster’s body dropped to the ground beneath them. He turned his head at his name being. He ran out of the building, stepping carefully over the discarded bodies of the demons, angels, monsters and hunters alike that didn't make it. He made his way towards the impala, where Dean was hunched over.

"Where's Cas?"

Sam looked at Dean waiting for a response. Dean was still hunched over and clinging onto his abdomen.

"I don't know, we got- separated. You know I got a little busy."

Dean pointed at the demon on the ground beside him, her eyes still open. Dean grunted as he pushed himself up and started to walk towards the building and yelled out. He stopped at the entrance and used one of his hands to lean on the broken door frame.

"CAS!"

Sam moved to check on Dean as Cas came running out of the building, the blade in his hand still dripping with blood. He stops in front of them and looks at them intently.

"Are you two okay?"

Dean looked up at them then and starts to pull himself up slowly.

"I think I may need a new shirt." He removed his hand from his abdomen, it was covered in blood. He stumbled to take a few steps as Sam helped him move to the back of the impala.

"Shit."

 Sam pulled out the keys from Dean's jacket pocket and toss them at Cas to open the trunk. Cas goes to the trunk and it opens with a creak. He rummages through the weapons to find any first aid items at hand. He comes back to Sam and Dean with bandages, some gauze-like strip of material, a small tube of neosporin, a bottle of water, and a bottle of whiskey that was almost empty.

"Is this all we have?"

Sam looked at Cas. Cas nodded and squatted down to help Dean stay upright. He slowly took Dean's jacket off of him, and handed Sam a knife to cut through his shirt with. Sam took the knife and lifted the shirt on one end, the fabric ripping with ease.

"Dammit Dean, what the hell?"

Dean winced as Sam applied pressure to his side, the wound was small, cutting deep into his right side, underneath his rib cage. The blood pushing through the open wound with each breath.

"Stupid demon got me with the angel blade before I got her."

Sam grabbed the bottle of whiskey and tossed the cap to the ground.

"Cas, hold him down." Cas turned and got behind Dean, gripping one of his shoulders back. Sam began pouring the amber colored liquid around the wound, Dean bucked up in pain, making Cas pull him back.

"Son of a bitch."

Sam reached behind him to grab the gauze. He turned back around, if Dean wasn't in pain the scene would almost look sweet, Dean was laying on Cas' lap looking up at him while Cas smoothed out his hair. Sam placed the gauze on Dean's wound and began wrapping it.

"Can you move at all?"

Dean nodded and stood up, Sam helping him steady himself. Sam opened the back door of the impala and helped Dean in.

"Cas, go in the back with him."

Cas moved to the other side of the car and slid into his seat. Dean turned and leaned against him, his hands moving to put pressure on the wound. Sam started the engine and drove towards the main road.

"The nearest hospital is twenty minutes out, hold on okay."

Dean looked down at his side, the bandages completely soaked in blood.

"I'll try…”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam paces the room as Cas speaks with a doctor. Dean has been in ICU for forty-eight hours. No visitation allowed yet.

"Can you at least tell me if his health has improved at all?"

The doctor sighed and ran a hand over his face before turning to Sam and Cas.

"He hasn't stabilized, the wound was very deep, and hit at an angle. He's lucky it missed his heart. It did however puncture his liver, and while we have drained the liquid, the amount of blood loss and internal bleeding are all factors in play. We need to wait for his reaction and proceed with surgery when he's stable enough. It's up to him now, but I won't lie to you. He's not doing so well."

Cas looks behind him as Sam wipes his hands across his face. He walks up to them and faces the doctor.

"Do anything you can to help him, please..."

 The doctor nods and begins to walk away. He turns back suddenly.

"Who is his next of kin?"

Sam steps forward.

"I am."

"I'll need you to fill out paperwork, acknowledging risks and giving us permission to operate."

Sam nods. The doctor leaves and Sam turns to Cas. He hugs Cas suddenly, surprising Cas. He starts to sniffle into Cas' shoulder.

"Dean will make it out of this Sam."

Sam shifts and he nods into Cas' shoulder and lets him go.

"I know, it's just if something does happen. That's it you know, no more redo, no more deals or resurrections. Billie said as much. We get tossed into the empty. Whatever that means."

Cas walks to a chair and plops down.

“I know…”

“I’m gonna go fill out the paperwork. Will you go get us some food Cas?”

Sam tossed the keys towards Cas, Cas catches them and turns to leave. He walks around the corner towards the elevator. He reaches the end of the hallway, the elevators to his left. He presses the button and waits, he spots a directory and turns back to the elevator. He looks at it once more and bounces the keys in his hands, putting them in his pocket. He walks to it. Cas runs his finger down the lettering of the directory and finds the word chapel, he heads that direction, leaving the elevator door open.

A woman steps out of the elevator wearing nurse scrubs. She brings her hands to the stethoscope around her neck, she tugs at it. She turns and walks in the direction Cas came from, only to stop in front of a closed window. She looks at her reflection and fixes the stray hairs. As she fixes her hairs she begins to hum a song.

“O, o Death…”

She flashes a smile and walks down the corridor.

Cas reaches the chapel, a few people still inside. The chapel is small, a few stained glass widows above eye level illuminating the room in soft colors. If it were any other time, Cas would've thought it was peaceful. He looks at the people in the room, an older couple, two younger adults on opposite ends of the room and a stroller parked behind a small child playing with a small angel plush. He sits in the back. He places his elbows on his knees and puts his head down. He runs his hands down his face and exhales loudly. Two of the people in front of him stand, wipe their own eyes and walk out. The child grips along the benches to walk along the room and reaches Cas, the child, a boy, no older than two with forest green eyes and freckles painted on his face like constellations, hands him the angel plush and stumbles away. He looks down at the plush and holds it close, tracing the shape of the wings and tint of red in its cheeks. He looks up to give the boy back his toy, but finds no one there. The boy gone and no sign of a stroller. He puts the toy in his pocket and waits. A few minutes pass by before he is completely alone, his jacket is now on the bench. He walks up to the pew and kneels in front of it. He clears his throat and looks around before looking up at the cross in front of him. 

“Father please hear me...you have been absent for so long,”

Cas shifts in the pew. A few people walk into the chapel and cross themselves before exiting once more.

“I know that I risk disappointment in praying to you. But I need help. I need to know if there is any way to save Dean. I can’t lose him, none of us can. Not now. Not again..”

Cas stands up and starts pacing. He kicks the chairs next to him, causing them to screech across the wooden floor.  He looks up at the cross, his eyes flickering with the tears threatening to fall, he put his hands beside his head and lets the tears fall. He looks at the bench behind him, the angel plush popping out of the pocket.

“Haven’t we given enough...”

Cas sniffles and brings his hands to his face. He uses his sleeve to wipe across his face.

"Haven't we all _lost_ enough, had enough pain in our lives. Please I beg of you father, Sam can’t lose what little he has left, he has me but I’m not his brother. _I’m not Dean_ … I- I don’t want him to die, please....”

Cas wipes his eyes and turns around grabbing his coat on the way out of the chapel. He walks out but turns back and looks at the cross illuminated in the light from the sky lights. He continues to walk and reaches the exit of the hospital. His phone begins to buzz, he pulls it out to check who’s calling. The screen reads: Claire. He hovers his thumb over the reject button. Claire had been calling them to check up on their hunts and to check in with Cas. He hadn’t picked up the phone in four days. He decides against it ignoring it again and answers the call.

“Hello, Claire.”

“Cas, I’ve called you over ten times in the past two hours. What gives?”

“Dean’s hospitalized.”

“What? Why? How?”

Cas smiles a little, Claire and Dean have become a lot closer lately. One their days off, they would go visit Claire and make sure she was okay, make sure she was happy. During these visits Dean and her became closer, Claire forgave Dean and Dean spent every moment he could making sure he deserved it.  Claire doesn't see them as monsters anymore, she sees them as Cas, Dean, and Sammy, her family. And now to have to tell her this, was a pain Cas hadn't felt since he lost his wings for the final time.

“The hunt, it ahh, it went wrong.”

“Cas…”

“Claire, is Jody there?”

Cas listens to the shuffling on the other side of the line, he hears Claire call out to Jody and hears the phone being shifted into someone else’s hand.

"Hey, Castiel what’s up?”

“Jody, it’s- ahh it’s  Dean. A demon got to him before Sam or I could help him. The doctor’s don- they don’t think he’ll make it. I don’t know how to tell Claire.”

“You just did, she-she put you on speaker Cas. I’m sorry.”

It’s as if Cas could hear Claire’s heart breaking. He heard shuffling and the phone line being covered as if it was put down. The muffled sounds of Claire choking up were enough to have Cas crying once more. This wasn’t fair, they had just become a family again. They had just started to truly be happy. Claire brought the phone up to her ear again.

“Where are you? I need to be there.”

“Ugh, Hammonton, New Jersey. We were somewhere around Cedar Lake when it all happened. If you are coming up here be careful please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for taking so long in updating... finals are killing me.

Cas walked into the waiting room with two brown paper bags in his hands. Sam sat in one of the arm chairs, half asleep with his face resting on his hand. Cas set down one of the bags next to Sam’s feet and sat across from him, bringing out the food from his bag. The brown bag ripped as he pulled out the carryout box, the noise making Sam shift in his seat. A few minutes passed before Cas was finished with his food and stood up to throw the trash away. As he sits back down, Sam rubs his eyes with the back of his hands and stretches out like a cat.

“Your food is in the bag next to you.”

Sam turned and looked at the inside of the bag. He pulled out its contents and began to open the carryout box, and started to eat, he chewed down on a piece of bread as he looked back up at Cas. Cas fiddling with the phone in his hand.

“Claire, Alex and Jody are on their way here.”

Sam stared at him, expression unreadable.

“Claire called... I had to tell her why I wouldn’t pick up. She said she’d be on her way.”

As Sam opened his mouth to speak, a nurse walked up to them.

“Mr. Winchester?”

Both Cas and Sam stand. She looks at both of them.

“Is Dean okay?”

Sam’s voice falters as he asks her.

“For the time being yes, he is stable.”

Cas breathes out and sits back down as the nurse turns to Sam.

“He is stable for now but your brother needs a liver transplant, the wound along with years of what I assume is borderline alcoholism, did not do him well. However, the stab wound is not our only concern, I don’t know what happened to your brother but during whatever altercation he had, but he received two broken ribs, both on the side of the wound, internal bleeding in both the liver and right lung, as well as lacerations to the gallbladder. That along with a concussion that would put a football quarterback to shame. ”

Cas looks up at her as Sam starts pacing the room.

“What can we do?”

The nurse huffs out a breath before taking off her glasses.

“Unfortunately you two can’t do anything for him, at least not right now. When your brother was rushed in, we checked you two out and ran your blood work in search for a match but got nothing, although your genetics are similar, it isn’t compatible enough to do a transplant in his condition, and blue eyes here can’t do it because not only is he on medication for bruising and a few broken ribs himself but he has a different blood type.”

Sam sank into the chair behind him and Cas looked up at the nurse.

“Is there anyone else who can supply the transplant?”

The nurse skimmed over the file in her hands, and shook her head.

“He’s been registered for a waiting list, but again it’s a waiting list and we’re doing everything we can to keep him stable for as long as possible, I’m sorry.”

Sam wiped his face and nodded at her.

“Thank you for telling us.”

The nurse walks away as Cas faces Sam. Sam had his hands covering his face.

“Sam?”

Sam peers through tear soaked eyes and looks up at Cas.

“I thought.. I thought I’d at least be able to help him, but I can’t even do that.”

Cas gets up from his chair and crosses to Sam to kneel in front of him, and places a hand on Sam’s knee.

“You are helping him Sam, by being here, by not giving up, most people would accept death but you two defy it and keep your family together as long as you can. Yes, some of the time it wasn’t the wise decisions that were made, but even God knows that the Winchesters are something to be reckoned with. Dean is one of the strongest men I know, and he will make it. Sam please, have faith.”

“Have faith in what Cas?”

“In Dean.”

Sam reaches out for Cas’ hand and squeezes.

“Okay.”

The monitors beep at a steady pace, the IV bag dripping like clockwork. Dean lays in bed his eyes closed, a few bruises and cuts along on his cheek and brow. There are tubes in his airway and a machine at the side of the bed regulating his breathing. A nurse stands over his bed, the same one who spoke to Sam, checking the charts. She comes around the bed and leans over Dean’s ear.

“I’m coming for you Winchester.”

As the nurse steps back she transforms into Billie, the glasses now too small on her face she takes them off and smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you think so far?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't been updating, but here's a longer chapter!

The refrigerator door opens with a creak, Dean reaches in and grabs a pack of beer labeled “Taste of Heaven.” He takes the pack and a bottle opener in his hands and walks out of the kitchen into the common area. Laughter is heard. On one side of the table sits Charlie and Sam, at the corner of the table leaning in close to Charlie was Castiel. Dean takes the empty seat next to Cas and passes the beers to each of them, opening his own with a pop. He smiles at his family having fun.

“Pick a color.”

Dean blinks and turns to Charlie.

“What?”

“Pick a color.”

Dean looks at the object in her hand, a fortune teller.

“Aren’t we a little old for this?”

Charlie reaches over the table and smacks his arm.

“No, maybe, but my who knows how many billions year old bestie over here just played it so, pick a color.”

Cas laughs at her and turns to Dean.

“Humor her.”

“Fine, blue.”

The fortune teller moves between Charlie’s fingers, stopping at the fourth turn.

“Okay a number.”

“Ugh, four.”

She turns the fortune teller four more times.

“Another number, last one promise.”

Dean rolls his eyes. And turns to face Sam, who looks at him and gives him a small smile.

“Two.”

Charlie opens the flap on the fortune teller and silently reads it. She turns to him, grasping a napkin in her hand.

“It says _you are dying_.”

Dean turns to her then. The room shifts for a second, his vision blurring.

“What?”

“It said you are buying,” Charlie throws the napkin at his face, “as in you are buying the next round of pizza.”

Dean laughed and stood up causing the chair to screech across the floor.

“Fine, but after this one you’re cut off missy.”

He walks through the common room and toward the exit of the bunker. He opens the door and heads outside, turning to lock it behind him. He turns back around to find himself in a high school hallway. Speakers turn on as he looks around, Sam is standing next to him, holding the door open.

“Are you coming in or not?”

Dean snaps out of his trance and follows Sam into an auditorium. It looks vaguely familiar, like he’s been here before...

  
  _John and Mary_  
_Husband and wife_  
_Bringing home a brand new life_

Dean turned his head, looking at the girls on stage. He stared at the stage as the figures blurred and refocused. He turns to Sam who looks just as dumbfounded.

“Somethings not right…”

He begins to pace, trying to think retrace his steps, the last thing he remembers is a beer in his hand at the bunker, no, a hospital light above his head. He hasn’t been in a hospital since they found Claire. He hears the girls yell cut, he reaches for his pockets to find his badge, only to find nothing in them. Sam clears his throat, the girls are making their way to them. Sam pulls out his badge and flashes it, Dean looks down to find the badge in his hand before Sam quickly slapping his hands down.

“Sam.”

Sam is talking to the girls, who pay him no attention. Sam’s attention is focused on the girls pointing up to the sound booth and towards the doors.

“Sam…”

Nothing.

“Agent Smith!”

Sam stops talking and turns to face Dean.

“Sorry, is something wrong?”

Dean squints the room blurring and refocusing for the second time, he feels a wetness on his side. He moves his hand over the area, a deep red now staining his hand.

“I think, I think I might be dying.”

Dean’s knees falter and he falls back, leaning on a nearby wall. Sam moves to him, his hand grasping onto Dean’s jacket to see the side Dean is holding. Nothing, It’s gone.

“Dean, I don’t see anything. What’s going on?”

Dean pulls himself up and looks at his hands, the calloused, roughness free of blood.

“I don’t know.”

Dean heads for the door, the light from the outside blinding him for a second. Sam’s hair bounces as he jogs to catch up to Dean, in front of him.

“Dean, where are you going?”

Dean stops in front of the car, and turns to Sam.

“This…” Dean waves his hand at the school then around him, “this isn’t real. None of it. I’m probably stuck in some back alley or if I’m lucky a damn hospital bed.. The real you, the real Cas? I have no idea if they know where I am or if they’re doing something immensely stupid to save my ass.”

“Do you know how insane that sounds?”

“Really? Then how do I know that you thought of your days as a theater geek, when you first walked in? Huh? Or that Marie in there, she’s in danger because Calliope, the muse, is waiting to feast on her?”

“I don’t know Dean. Let me help you at least.”

Dean sighs and nods him over to the car. Sam gets in the passenger’s seat. And closes the door. Dean walks around to the driver’s seat and gets in. He places the keys in the engine, and starts the car. It stalls. He tries again, and looks up.

***static***

“Dean.”

It is now dark outside. He looks to his side, Sam is gone.

“Dean, what do you see?”

Dean snaps out of his daze.

“Sorry what?”

“I said what do you see?”

Cas’ voice emanates through the car radio.

“Ugh, my dash. I’m in the impala, I see nothing but asphalt.”

“Okay, for you it’s a road.”

“Cas.”

“Yes, Dean?”

“I think I’m dying.”

“Yes, condolences.”

Dean exhales loudly, he hits his head on the steering wheel causing the horn to blare.

“No, Cas. I mean I wasn’t here a minute ago. I was just on a case with Sammy. A case that is 5 years ahead of this memory.”

“If what you say is true, then you are in no current danger from this memory, but we do need to find you a way out and soon.”

Cas pops up beside Dean with a rustle of wings. Dean jumps.

“Dammit Cas, warn a guy.”

Cas stares at him intently.

“You’re different, your soul. It’s still so bright but it looks so different.”

“Yeah, it’s ahh been through some shit.”

Cas nods. He looks at Dean expectantly.

“What?”

“I don’t know the situation, Dean, I cannot offer assistance if I don’t know what we need to do.”

“Oh, cliffnotes- shit went south. I mean we beat Lucifer, ganked some evil sons of bitches but things got bad. And I mean like apocalypse looks like child’s play bad. All we have left is family at this point man, you, me, Sam, Claire, the lot of us. I need to get back, if I die I don’t think I can come back from it, not this time.”

Cas squints his eyes for a moment and looks back at Dean.

“Claire? Novak?”

“Long story.”

“Well I am honored you consider me part of your family.”

Dean smiles.

“Yeah, it took me a long time to realize I wasn’t treating you like family, but you are Cas, you are that and so much more than that to me.”

Cas faintly smiles at Dean and places his hand on Dean’s knee.

“So you said, you have been pulled through memories?”

Dean nods.

"Bad ones? Good ones?"

"They've been good memories, except this one, this one was never so peachy. God being M.I.A and all."

Cas nodded.

“We need to find a specific memory to trigger your escape. Think painful, something you want to bury.”

“Why?”

“Because your mind has places you don’t want to go, if we find these places we may find a way out. Most people stay in happier, neutral memories, but you are traveling to find a way out. Your journey is already different.”

“Have you met me Cas? My life is full of nightmares, literally. how do I know which memory is bad enough?”

“Just think.”

Dean closes his eyes. And opens them again, he looks around him, the air is dry and cold. He stands in a dank cabin, a table filled with empty bottles and wrappers in front of them, a small dim light flickering above him and Cas. He turns and sees a door pried open. He walks slowly towards it, Cas following closely behind. He opens the door to find two twin beds. One empty, unslept in, the other with a figure laying on it, a thin sheet of white covering it. He makes his way towards the bed and takes the sheet off the figure, Sammy lies there, dead. His younger features paler, colder. Dean’s eyes begin to water as he turns to Cas.

“This is the first time he died. I’m out, selling my soul right now.”

Dean clears his throat and looks up at the ceiling.

“Didn’t dig deep enough did I?”

“No, I suppose not. Dean I know it’s difficult. But we have to find you a way out, if you truly are dying it could only be a matter of time before a reaper is sent to collect you.”

Cas walks up to him and places a hand on Dean’s shoulder. Dean wipes his eyes and walks toward the door. It swings shut behind Cas. Cas takes a step in front of Dean and stares at the pile of books in front of him. Dean looks around and sees a familiar place. The bunker’s library.

“Dean, what is this place?”

Dean looks at the floor, it’s slick with blood and kerosene. There’s a patch of tan trench coat peeking through the side of the pile of books. Dean face falls completely, he knows what this is.

“It’s bad Cas.”

Cas tries to walk over to were Dean was standing but Dean stops him by placing his hand on Cas’ chest.

“Cas, no. Please. This is one of the worst things I’ve ever done, please don’t make me see it.”

“Dean, what memory is this?”

Dean huffs out a shallow breath, he looks at Cas as a tear falls down his cheek.

“It’s me with the affects of my stupidity, I had the Mark of Cain and I...hurt you. I hurt you bad Cas and I can’t see that again. I just can’t.”

Cas nods. He steps back, Dean lowers his hand from Cas’ chest. He looks back down at the ground.

“I’m sorry.”

“Dean, this is a memory, I have no part in it. And from what you told me we are in good standing if not closer than we have been correct?”

“Yeah...”

“Then I am sure that the ‘real’ me has forgiven whatever situation may have passed.”

Dean sniffles and looks back up at Cas, his vision starts blurring once again. A sharp pain hits his abdominal area, as his ears ring with the sound of beeping and voices. Dean yells in pain as Cas lunges forward to hold him steady.

“Dean! What’s wrong??”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions? Thoughts? Concerns?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry for how long this took.

Claire breathes heavily as she pushes her hair from her face, she slaps her bag on the counter as the receptionist stares blankly at her. He huffs out a breath.

“Winchester, Dean, where is he?”

The receptionist turns back and looks at his computer screen as he continues to type.

“Are you family?”

Claire looks annoyed as she huffs out a response.

“He’s… he’s my dad.”

Alex and Jody reach the counter. Jody still pulling on her sweater.

“He’s in ICU, no visitation allowed.”

Claire’s face scrunches in frustration, she steps forward but Jody holds her back. Jody looks at the receptionist.

“We just drove twenty one hours to get here, please tell us we can at least hear news about how he’s doing.”

The receptionist takes a look at all of them, their day old eyeliner smudged underneath sleep deprived eyes. He huffs as he gives them visitors passes, just as Claire picks up her bag. Claire taps her feet impatiently as he fills out three passes for them.

“There’s a waiting room on the second floor, take a left and it’ll be on the far end.”

Claire takes her pass and runs. Jody follows behind her as Alex says thank you. Claire reaches the elevator first, she frantically presses the button as her bag falls from her shoulder, a few items dropping on the floor. She bends down to pick them up, a few discarded pens, a chapstick and her grumpy cat. She opens the drawstring of her bag and places them inside a small glimpse of what appears to be a dvd case gets pushed back. She closes it and gets back up, in time to see Jody and Alex stop in front of her.

“Claire...”

Claire turns around, she knows she’s been avoiding a conversation, but she was too stressed to think about anything.

“Alex, please, not right now.”

“Claire, it’s not about that. I just need you to know I’m here for you.”

Claire looks at her, she nods.

“Yeah, I know…thank you.”

She waits, looking at the needle of the elevator going between floors as it finally reaches the ground floor. They all step in, the door closing as a tear rolls down Claire’s cheek. She quickly brushes it away and pushes the 2nd floor button. Jody takes a deep breath.

“You know, the first time I met the Winchesters, I hated them.”

She smiles at the memory.

“I never thought my life could get any weirder than Bobby Singer’s antics allowed. I was wrong, I was thrown into a world of vampires, demons, angels, and I can't thank them enough for it. I got two beautiful daughters in the process and Sam, Dean, and Castiel have all become my family. If I have learned anything from knowing them, it’s that death is never forever and it’s never goodbye.”

Jody turns Claire towards her.

“He will make it out.”

Claire freezes for a second but throws her arms around Jody, tears streaming down her face.

“I can’t lose another person Jody. I can’t…”

Jody shushes her as she looks at Alex nodding towards the backpack discarded on the floor. Alex picks it up.

“I know sweetie, I know, but you won’t lose him okay, you won’t. He’s strong.”

Claire lets herself be hugged by Jody until the doors open, she wipes her eyes again as she pushes herself off and steps out. She walks down the hallway, recognizing the two figures sitting in the arm chairs.

Sam is slouching, his head rested on his hand, the circles under his eyes proving how much sleep he’s had in the past few days. Cas sits with his legs open his elbows resting on his knees, his coat thrown haphazardly over the chair. He look up and sees Claire, Jody, and Alex approaching. He nudges Sam, waking him up as Claire reaches them, she places her bag on the chairs across from them and goes down on her knees in front of Cas. Cas blankly stares at her before bringing his hand to caress her cheek. She tries to smile and lean into the touch but she can’t, a choked sob comes out as Cas pulls her in. Sam stands up rubbing his eyes and turn towards Alex and Jody, he kisses Alex's forehead and mumbles a thank you. Jody rubs his back as he pulls away from Alex and hugs him, Sam smiles at them.

“Thank you, seriously, thank you for being here.”

Claire, who is still in Cas’ arm mumbles something against Cas’ shoulder. She separates herself and tries again.

“How bad is he?”

Before either Sam or Cas can answer, nurses rush by yelling over each other, a doctor, being called from the reception desk.They all turn to towards the commotion, a single nurse standing out to them. They see Billie, Cas and Sam step forward trying to see if it's actually her, she turns to look at them and winks. Sam rushes towards her.

“Billie!”

She smiles and turns disappearing into the crowd. Sam stops in front of the staff only double doors. Claire reaches for his arm.

“Sam, who was that?”

Sam turns to her, his voice tight.

“It doesn’t matter, she’s not getting him.”

He crosses the room, pulling his jacket off the seat and exits.

* * *

 

“Dean.”

A gruff voice rustles Dean into consciousness, he opens his eyes expecting Castiel. He sees him in tattered clothing, peach fuzz covering his chin. The bunker’s walls are gone, the ground beneath him is now dirt and twigs. He searches around for a weapon, an obsidian blade underneath his makeshift pillow.

“Dean where are we?”

Dean looks down at himself, he is sweaty and covered in dried blood.

“Purgatory.”

Castiel furrows his brow.

“You’ve been to Purgatory?”

Dean grunts as pushes himself up.

“Yeah and not the one in Miami either.”

Castiel tilts his head. He turns his head as a small twig snaps in the distance.

“There's someone here.”

Dean stays quiet as he looks around, the slow breeze dying out and leaving only silence. He turns at the sound of a crunch. Castiel has pinned down the monster, the vampire.

“Nice to see ya’ too Hotwings.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think. Please, good or not so good....doesn't matter.


End file.
